Super Bowl LIII Coverage: “The Curse of the Super Bowl Hosts”

Week 7 Preview:
By Stuart Tomlin

Turns out I’ve got more free time than I thought I had this week, so here’s your Week 7 preview. Thanks for Kyle for filling in this week again on the Review. Kinda glad I didn’t have to talk about Monday Night Football tbh.

Yeah, that was brutal.

And now Luck is out for an extended period of time. Is it time?

START THE GLORIOUS TANK.

Elsewhere, it was an entertaining week in the NFL. I saw some of it in a bar in Aberdeen, then I moved to a different bar, and then watched MNF at my mate’s. Was an eventful week. Some bizarre scores. And Aaron Rodgers is out for the season now. The NFC North is wide open. Seriously, this is an injury-cursed season.

Shall we begin?

Oakland Raiders v. Kansas City Chiefs
O.co Coliseum, Oakland, California

Well, thanks very much Chiefs! I had a whole narrative ready to go about how the only undefeated team were going to continue their attempts to become the 1972 Miami Dolphins…or the second team to do what they did and go unbeaten, and then you throw that all out the window by losing to the Chiefs. The Raiders have been a bit of a disappointment this year, but at least Derek Carr is back. I would continue my Alex Smith for MVP narrative here, and to be honest one meh game for him hasn’t derailed that…yet. But I’ve seen this story a few times. Team goes unbeaten, looks impressive and then it all goes to shit. But the Raiders have been very ehh this season, and the Chiefs should bounce back here. Chiefs. Also there’s a good chance that this may go up after Thursday because I still have a shit-ton of Uni work due Friday. But I wrote this Wednesday as I had a little free time. Confusing, huh? Deadlines are fun.

Minnesota Vikings v. Baltimore Ravens
US Bank Stadium, Minneapolis, Minnesota

The Vikings are the new favourite for the NFC North. That…that probably won’t end well for them. Vikings generally do not do well as favourites. However they did beat the Packers after Aaron Rodgers got injured and ruled out for the season last week. The Ravens continued their confusing as hell season by…losing..to the Bears…in overtime. Well then. Fuck’s sake. This season continues to be incredibly confusing. I quite like both of these teams’ defences and the offences tend to be very, very frustrating to watch. One week they can be brilliant, the next terrible. Also, it’s quite heartwarming to see Teddy Bridgewater back in practice. That’s an incredible comeback story. I’m gonna take the home team here but this really could go either way. Vikings.

Green Bay Packers v. New Orleans Saints
Lambeau Field, Green Bay, Wisconsin

The Brett Hundley era begins in Wisconsin as the Packers begin their first game this season without Rodgers. Brett Hundley. Good Lord, you guys are fucked. Welcome to the major injured star club, Packers…take a seat along with us, the Giants and the Texans. The Saints meanwhile have been one of the surprise packages of the season so far, impressing last week with their defence scoring THREE touchdowns. If you were crazy enough to have the Saints defence on your fantasy team last week, congratulations. I’ve picked them up for this week now. Watch them drop about thirty points because my fantasy team. Brees only threw one touchdown pass last week despite the Saints scoring 52 points last week. That’s a bizarre, bizarre statement. But the Saints have their franchise quarterback. The Packers do not. Saints.

Miami Dolphins v. New York Jets
Hard Rock Stadium, Miami Gardens, Florida

The Dolphins are grinding out wins, beating the NFC Champion Falcons and the Jets were a ridiculously ruled out touchdown away from tying the Super Bowl Champion Patriots last week. 2017 continues to be absolutely weird. Who’d have thought it? This is an unusual week as the week I go to a London game, two previous match-ups that I’ve seen live are taking place, and this is one of them. The Jets have been surprisingly decent this year, and have binned the tanking idea to actually be respectful this season. The AFC East is still quite open. Never, ever saw this coming. Both of these teams could do with a win and this is genuinely a tough game to pick. I’m gonna go with the Fins continuing to grind out wins. This will probably end up going to overtime. Dolphins

Chicago Bears v. Carolina Panthers
Soldier Field, Chicago, Illinois

The Panthers actually lost a game I picked them to lose. This is new. Maybe they’ll win a game I pick them to win this week. I might try that. The Bears meanwhile won their second game of the season by beating the Ravens. Hah. The Bears continue to play spoiler by completely wrecking the dreams of teams better than them. Will they do that again with the Panthers? Cam Newton seems to be back to his best and with that the Panthers are looking more like that team that dominated 2015. Luke Kuechly got hurt however and he will be a big loss. To be honest it’s a worry for him that he’s had three concussions in three years and you genuinely think it might be time for him to retire. I’d be gutted to see him go, as he’s one of my favourite non-Colts in the league, but I’d like to see him have his health long-term first and foremost, of course. On the game though, I still feel like the Panthers are gonna win this one. Panthers. Congratulations on playing spoiler again, Chicago.

Los Angeles Rams v. Arizona Cardinals
Twickenham Stadium, London, England

I’m actually really excited for this game and not just because I’m going to be there to watch it. The Rams have been great to watch this season – who knew firing Jeff Fisher would be a good thing? – and Jared Goff seems to finally fulfilling something close to his potential, and their defence is incredible. The Cardinals meanwhile found out what the Saints couldn’t – what it’s like to actually use Adrian Peterson as an unopposed number one running back, and he ran in two touchdowns for a huge win for the Cards over the Buccaneers. He’s looking a good pickup in fantasy (cheers, AP) and until David Johnson comes back, will be the number one RB in Arizona, filling the gap. This should be a really fun game to watch. Hopefully it’s gonna be high-scoring and a close game that goes down to the final drive. Knowing London games like I do, it’ll probably be a blowout. But here’s hoping it’s a good game. As for who will win? I’m gonna stick with Los Angeles here. The Cards were good last week, but the Rams been superb all year so far. Rams.

Buffalo Bills v. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Ralph Wilson New Era Field Stadium, Buffalo, New York

The Buffalo Bills come off their bye not really knowing what kind of team they want to be this season. Do they want to be the team that beat the NFC Champions, or the team that dropped a loss to the Bengals? I guess we’ll find out when they play the Patriots. In the meantime, they welcome the Bengals to the Ralph Wilson New Era Field Stadium. God, that name sounded so much better without the sponsor. The Buccaneers got absolutely leathered by Adrian Peterson and the Cardinals last week for three quarters then launched into a 27-7 fourth quarter to salvage a narrow loss. That followed Nick Folk’s attempts at becoming Roberto Aguayo by missing three field goals against the Patriots and joining him in the unemployment line. This is very much a game of two teams who don’t know what the fuck they want to be this season. But I like the Bills more. So, I’ll go with them. Bills.

Indianapolis Colts v. Jacksonville Jaguars
Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, Indiana

Jesus fucking Christ I hate this season. Andrew Luck has had a setback, will miss this game and will probably not be back this season at this rate.

“Hello Darkness, My Old Friend”

That means we continue with Brissett at QB and while he is not terrible, he is no Andrew Luck. Not helping matters is Chuck Pagano going full Chuck Pagano for yet another week and blowing yet another fucking lead against the Titans. Jack Doyle turned into Dwayne Allen last week, and Donte Moncrief dropped a touchdown in the endzone. He’s not exactly standing out in a contract year.The Jags meanwhile have limited the effect of Blake Bortles with a punishing defence and outstanding running game in Leonard Fournette, who was initially ruled out but should be back. God almighty. I can’t pick us against the fucking Jaguars.

Fuck this season. Jaguars.

Cleveland Browns v. Tennessee Titans

Paul Brown Stadium, Cleveland, Ohio

I suppose it could be worse. We could be Cleveland.

The Browns got blown out yet again against the Texans, and Kevin Hogan was terrible. How terrible you ask? DeShone Kizer is BACK in at Quarterback after being benched. Last week. Because Browns. The Titans beat us last week despite having an absolutely terrible offensive line, Mariota struggling with injury and the running game being stuffed for most of the game. Jesus fucking wept. They’ll probably end up winning this game because the Browns are an absolute bin-fire, but it probably will be “bowling shoe ugly.” That phrase is horrendous, by the way. Just like this game will probably be. Will the Browns actually win a game this year? They’ll probably go 0-12 then beat the Packers because this season is fucking weird. The Titans will continue to challenge in a terrible AFC South because of course they will. Titans.

San Francisco 49ers v. Dallas Cowboys
Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California

Speaking of teams who are winless, the Niners! I really love it when it nicely segues into this sort of situation. Gotta love you Google preview. Anyways, they welcome the so-so Dallas Cowboys to Levi’s in the race to actually win a fucking game with the Browns. The Cowboys have been quite disappointing this year and Ezekiel Elliott may or may not be suspended for a few weeks, we’re really not sure at this point. However, even without him, the Cowboys should end up winning this game as the Niners are absolutely terrible. I mean, I’m struggling to name anyone apart from Carlos Hyde who’s worth anything in this Niners team. Seriously, it’s a struggle. They did almost beat the Washingtons last week but fell short. Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch have a job on their hands to rebuild this team. They should have another high pick to help their chances next offseason. Dallas meanwhile are off their bye and needs to try and catch up to the Eagles in the NFC East. They’ll get a boost here. Cowboys.

Pittsburgh Steelers v. Cincinnati Bengals
Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, Pennslyvania

The Steelers welcome the Bengals in a game that is vital to both teams’ hopes for this season. The Steelers continued to play to their opponents’ ability, after one week of losing to the Jaguars, they go and beat the only unbeaten team in the league in the Chiefs. The Bengals have recovered from a terrible start where they didn’t score a touchdown in two home losses at the very start of the season, to beat the Bills before their bye. If they win here, and that’s very possible as the Steelers love nothing more than playing down to their opposition, they might be back in the NFC North race. A loss though will be a massive setback. And that’s probably how it’s gonna play out, because let’s face it, the Steelers need to fulfil their destiny of making the playoffs only to lose to the fucking Patriots. Steelers.

New York Giants v. Seattle Seahawks
MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey

The Giants got their first win of the season by beating the Broncos in a result we all totally expected and nobody didn’t see coming surely? While the Seahawks come off their bye after battling down the challenge of the not-Jeff Fisher Rams to take top spot in the NFC West. Until of course the Rams won last week against the Jags to take top spot back. Anyways, the Seahawks look to go on with their business once more by taking on the Giants without Odell Beckham. Welp, this should go well for New York then. They seem to have at least found their running back of the future in Wayne Gallman, who was absolutely outstanding against the Broncos. And the Seahawks’ offensive line is still questionable at best, so the Giants pass rush of JPP and Landon Collins, with Vernon still a doubt, might get some joy. Eli Manning can throw it to uh…umm…welp. That’s where they might struggle against the Legion of Boom. Seahawks.

Los Angeles Chargers v. Denver Broncos
Stubhub Center, Carson, California

The Chargers are on a two-game winning streak away from home, and return home to pla…Broncos

Sigh, do I actually have to justify it?

Fineee

The Chargers return home to play the Broncos with a horrible home record, but do have a two game winning streak against the Giants and Raiders. Meanwhile the Broncos pretty much acted like they were the 0-5 team last week and got battered by the Giants. The 0-5 Giants, for fuck’s sake. However, the Broncos have been having a decent season and should be contention for the wildcard, while the Chargers…will probably not. Von Miller is going to have a couple of meetings with Phillip Rivers this week I reckon. Broncos.

New England Patriots v. Atlanta Falcons
Gillette Stadium, Foxborough, Massachusetts

It’s the Super Bowl rematch we’ve all been waiting for, with the unbeaten Patriots taking on the surging Falcons. The Falcons looking to make amends for blowing the 28-3 lead, while the Pats look to continue to march towards 16-0.

Wait, that’s the analysis we were all expecting at the start of the season.

Instead we have the Patriots at 4-2 and struggling to put away teams like the Jets, Texans and Buccaneers, while the Falcons have been blowing leads and choking away games like it’s fucking January. Still, the Sunday Night Football game should be fun, as it IS a Super Bowl rematch and both offences are still very good. The Patriots defence has been a bit of a disaster though and the Falcons can’t help but blow games. This is a genuinely hard game to call, not for the reasons I was expecting at the start of the season. Hmmm…I’m gonna go with the Pats. Tough call but home advantage should win out here. Patriots.

Philadelphia Eagles v. Washington Redskins
Lincoln Financial Field, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

In the final game of the week, Monday Night Football sees the top of the conference Eagles take on a Washington Washingtons team with a winning record. And we all thought the NFC East was gonna be about the Cowboys and the Giants this year. This season is weird. The Eagles have been superb this year and Carson Wentz is playing some very good football, while Washington are grinding out the wins. Kirk Cousins is starting to prove why someone, if not Washington then probably their last week opponents San Francisco, is going to pay him an absolute shit-ton of money. The Eagles beat a very good Panthers team last week and seem to be very much for real, so I am gonna pick them. Oh dear Lord, this is how the Eagles collapse starts, isn’t it? I hope not. It’d be nice to see their long-suffering fanbase finally get some God damn joy. Eagles.

BYE, BYE, BIRDIE, I’M GONNA MISS YOU SO;
BYE BYE BIRDIE, WHY’D YA HAVE TO GO?

Teams on Bye this week: Detroit Lions, Houston Texans

Well, that’ll do it for another week. I’ll be at Twickenham for the 6pm game between the Rams and the Cardinals, which means I won’t be able to watch the Colts this week, which I guess might be a blessing at this point. They’ll probably go and win now that I won’t see it live.

Good luck to all your teams and fantasy teams, unless you’re playing me, and if so, I hope your tight end fumbles the ball away three times.

Enjoy the games, and as always, Go Colts.