NFL Week 7 Review:
By Kyle Balfour
Another week, another round of NFL draws to a close. Oh, hello there! Once again, I shall be relieving Stuart of review duties so that we may continue to bring you some more lovely NFL review content!
So a mighty impressive week of NFL has ended, and some captivating stories have come out of it. So let's dive right into it!
Score wise, it was a much better week for predictions for both of us, with only a few teams letting us down (and embarrassing themselves while they were at it). Stuart leads with 50-41, while I begin to decline with 46-45.
Oakland Raiders vs. Kansas City Chiefs
Oakland Alameda Coliseum, Oakland, California
Actual Result Raiders 31-30 Chiefs
Kyle Said: Chiefs (0-1)
Stuart Said: Chiefs (0-1)
Game of the season thus far? Eh, it's close. While I prefer the more traditional offence-for-offence battle that the Niners/Rams offered, there is something just as enjoyable as the catharsis presented here in a very scrappy match up between the Raiders and the Chiefs. I'd expect nothing less to come out of Raider Nation, but this was just glorious.
The relentless pelting of throws from Derek Carr, the continuing legend of Kareem Hunt, Marshawn Lynch being ejected for personal foul, then hilariously sneaks into the crowd incognito to watch the rest of the game. All were just wonderful to witness.
Then to top it all off, the constant replays of the final drive, ending in an eventual touchdown from Michael Crabtree, only for everyone to realise that they still need the extra point and to get off the field as quickly as goddamn possible, with said kick being drilled to cap off an incredible game. What the fuck is with Thursday Night Football games being complete show stoppers recently?
Normally I'd be upset that my prediction was wrong, but with a game like that, I'll let it slide.
Minnesota Vikings vs. Baltimore Ravens
U.S. Bank Stadium, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Actual Result: Vikings 24-16 Ravens
Kyle Said: Vikings (1-1)
Stuart Said: Vikings (1-1)
Yup, the car is still needing repairs...
Despite injury woes, the Vikings are keeping it together incredibly well. The depth of their running game is very admirable, with Latavius Murray having his chance to shine. Case Keenum continues to be the rock that this team so dearly needs and holds it together for another game.
Meanwhile, the Ravens just looked woeful once again. I do not exaggerate when I find everybody, except kicker Justin Tucker, to be underachieving. Joe Flacco was fine, but his throws just ended up going nowhere as they were continuously snuffed by the viks defence. Limited offence matched with a hot/cold level of polarising defence creates a team that still needs to find the one thing that I previously criticised the Vikings for lacking (and now finally posses): consistency.
Green Bay Packers vs. New Orleans Saints
Lambeau Field, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Actual Result: Packers 17-26 Saints
Kyle Said: Saints (2-1)
Stuart: Saints (2-1)
Well this went exactly how I thought it would. The Packers are a completely different team without Aaron Rodgers. Brett Hundley tried his best, but it was the superior aerial offence of Drew Brees that took the Saints above and sealed the victory.
Miami Dolphins vs. New York Jets
Hard Rock Stadium, Miami, Florida
Actual Result: 31-28 Jets
Kyle Said: Jets (2-2)
Stuart Said: Dolphins (3-1)
Damn it, Jets! The one time I pick you to win, despite all signs saying it's in your best interests to lose; despite Josh McCown resorting to the D.I.Y. tactics of touchdown scoring, and a rather flat offence in general, all it took was for Jay Cutler to be injured and Matt Moore to carry the Dolphins to victory with a fourth quarter comeback that would make Matt Stafford proud. Did you learn nothing from the Drew Bledsoe incident?!!
Chicago Bears vs. Carolina Panthers
Soldier Field, Chicago, Illinois
Actual Result: Bears 17-3 Panthers
Kyle Said: Panthers (2-3)
Stuart Said: Panthers (3-2)
Dave, look away. It's not pretty.
*Deep Breath*
What. Was. That?!!
That...was pathetic!
Mitchell Trubisky was 4/7 on throwing attempts! 4! out of 7! That's barely a decent drive, never mind a full fucking game!
The Panthers were the superior team in every way! Better offence, more stable defence. Yet it was those dreaded pick sixes that put them away. Take those away, and we would've been left with a 3-3 deadlock of a game, that I would've predicted to end in a straight up draw after overtime. That was how bad this game was. The Panthers were just straight up cocky in their performance, and they suffered for it with very sloppy throwing from Cam Newton.
Los Angeles Rams vs. Arizona Cardinals
Twickenham Stadium, London,England
Actual Result: Rams 33-0 Cardinals
Kyle Said: Rams (3-3)
Stuart Said: Rams (4-2)
Well, I think the Rams may have just earned themselves a handful of new fans thanks to this blowout of a game from London. The Rams are continuing their red hot streak of success, and I am starting to believe the hype. This team is legit this season! Jared Goff still has some kinks to work out, but he is continuing to grow into a now legitimate quarterback, and the rest of the team is as well. Todd Gurley once again continues to shine as a stellar running back, and fantasy league gold mine.
As for the Cardinals...your injury plague continues as Carson Palmer goes down with a broken arm. His replacement? Drew Staton...you're fucked.
Buffalo Bills vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Ralph Wilson Stadium, Buffalo, New York
Actual Result: Bills 30-27 Buccaneers
Kyle Said: Bills (4-3)
Stuart Said: Bills (5-2)
An impressive game, and an impressive win for the Bills. An exciting fourth quarter back-and-forth is always a treat to watch, especially with the game on the line, coming down to a final field goal from Stephen Huaschka (now joint tied with 4 others for most consecutive over 50 yard field goals). The Bucs continued to display themselves as a pass threat with the likes of Mike Evans on their team, but it was the gritty run game of the Bills thanks to LeSean McCoy that carried the Bills to victory. Keep this up, Bills, and the fertile land that is the playoffs will finally be yours to grace.
Indianapolis Colts vs. Jacksonville Jaguars
Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, Indiana
Actual Result: Colts 0-27 Jaguars
Kyle Said: Jaguars (5-3)
Stuart Said: Jaguars (6-2)
A blowout at home? Ohh, not like that! Not like that!
Man, that was painful to watch. The Colts couldn't muster up anything against the Jags. Even with a couple turnovers to give the Colts a fighting chance in the second half, it went nowhere. Even without Leonard Fournette, T.J. Yeldon and Chris Ivory pick up the slack on the Jags running game.
What else is there to say about this game? Other than Chuck Pagano's days as the Colts head coach are about as limited as an advent calendar. Tank on, my wayward Colts.
Cleveland Browns vs. Tennessee Titans
FirstEnergy Stadium, Cleveland, Ohio
Actual Result: Browns 9-12 Titans (OT)
Kyle Said: Titans (6-3)
Stuart Said: Titans (7-2)
Ahh, the Factory of Sadness A.K.A FirstEnergy Stadium continues to disappoint fans of the Browns in spectacular fashion.
So where do we start? Well I guess we should probably go ahead and put another name onto that illustrious Browns jersey (look it up: it's a now-out-date collection of every single starting quarterback for the Browns since Tim Couch way back in 1999 all on one gloriously weighed down jersey) as Cody Kessler will probably get the go ahead over Deshone Kizer after footage of Kizer emerged of him partying late Saturday night. Johnny Manziel approves. Kessler replaced Kizer late into the game, threw for a couple interceptions (great start), and this complete nothingness of a game (see also death by field goal) went to overtime, and the Titans ended it there with one final 'pea shooter' field goal pelt. Gonna need better than that, Titans, if you want play off success...
San Francisco 49ers vs. Dallas Cowboys
Levi's Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Actual Result: 49ers 10-40 Cowboys
Kyle Said: Cowboys (7-3)
Stuart Said: Cowboys (8-2)
Oh, hi, Dallas Cowboys. Welcome back, and congratulations on absolutely levelling a win-less 49ers team. Ezekiel Elliot continues to decimate teams like they were oatmeal. Downside? Dan Bailey's out on a groin injury (adjust fantasy accordingly!) and your safety Jeff Heath did a pretty admirable job in the meantime. Maybe go and get Josh Brown? He'd fit right in with your organisation, the spouse abusing fuck that he is...
Los Angeles Chargers vs. Denver Broncos
StubHub Centre, Carson, Los Angeles, California
Actual Result: Chargers 21-0 Broncos
Kyle Said: Broncos (7-4)
Stuart Said: Broncos (8-3)
...Jesus...
An absolute embarrassment on the road for the Broncos. A blowout! It's the Chargers, for fuck's sake! It should've felt like a home game with the fan turnouts at StubHub Centre as of late...
Couple fumbles, a straight up pick six, and the mediocre made manifest Chargers stun you!
Get your shit together, Broncos!
New York Giants vs. Seattle Seahawks
MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Actual Result: Giants 7-24 Seahawks
Kyle Said: Seahawks (8-4)
Stuart Said: Seahawks (9-3)
An admirable effort by the Giants against the Legion of Boom; but sadly, it was just a case of being out played. The Seahawks ran rampant over the g-men, despite the best defensive efforts the Giants could muster. Holding them to the final quarter was a valiant effort, but ultimately the defence couldn't keep up. Despite screwing it up for themselves in terms of penalties given, the Seahawks emerged victorious, as they continue to pursue the Rams for top spot in their division.
I expected worse...
Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Cincinnati Bengals
Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Actual Result: Steelers 29-14 Bengals
Kyle Said: Steelers (9-4)
Stuart Said: Steelers (10-3)
Well, the Bengals did well to keep it somewhat competitive for like a quarter and a half (equate that, bitch!), but it was the pea shooting death by field goals that put you away. Not to mention some dirty plays in the second quarter once again screwing you out of a potentially winnable situation. After that, the game mentality shifted and the Steelers rained holy hell fire upon you.
New England Patriots vs. Atlanta Falcons
Gillette Stadium, Foxborough, Massachusetts
Actual Result: Patriots 23-7 Falcons
Kyle Said: Patriots (10-4)
Stuart Said: Patriots (11-3)
Was there actually a game on? I couldn't see...
Say what you will about the weather conditions, but as the late, great comedian George Carlin said:
"Football is played in any kind of weather. Rain, sleet, snow, hail, mud, can't read the numbers on the field, can't read the yard markers, can't read the players numbers, the struggle will continue."
And that's exactly what happened. By all accounts, a very good game, just that the Patriots edged this one out from the start and bested the Falcons altogether.
Well you can't blow a lead if you never lead from the start...
Philadelphia Eagles vs. Washington Redskins
Lincoln Financial Field, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Actual Result: Eagles 34-24 Redskins
Kyle Said: Eagles (11-4)
Stuart Said: Eagles (12-3)
A classic NFC East rivalry concluded on Monday Night Football, and a great game it was. The Eagles continue to dominate the NFC East and take the lead by 3 games over both the Cowboys and Redskins. The Redskins kept it competitive, allowing Kirk Cousins to once again show that he deserves to be on a real team, but it was the better ground game of the Eagles, and the literal magic spells of Carson Wentz that made this an Eagles win. Seriously, escaping a total clusterfuck of a rush and he escapes unscathed. Total magic!
*Phew* and there it is! Week 7 wrapped up in a neat, little package. Let's check the scores for this week:
Kyle: 11-4
Stuart: 12-3
Now those are some numbers! This now brings the totals to:
Kyle: 57-49
Stuart: 62-44
Onward to Week 8, where the glorious tanking of both the Giants and the Colts should start in full swing.
Go other team!
By Kyle Balfour
Another week, another round of NFL draws to a close. Oh, hello there! Once again, I shall be relieving Stuart of review duties so that we may continue to bring you some more lovely NFL review content!
So a mighty impressive week of NFL has ended, and some captivating stories have come out of it. So let's dive right into it!
Score wise, it was a much better week for predictions for both of us, with only a few teams letting us down (and embarrassing themselves while they were at it). Stuart leads with 50-41, while I begin to decline with 46-45.
Oakland Raiders vs. Kansas City Chiefs
Oakland Alameda Coliseum, Oakland, California
Actual Result Raiders 31-30 Chiefs
Kyle Said: Chiefs (0-1)
Stuart Said: Chiefs (0-1)
Game of the season thus far? Eh, it's close. While I prefer the more traditional offence-for-offence battle that the Niners/Rams offered, there is something just as enjoyable as the catharsis presented here in a very scrappy match up between the Raiders and the Chiefs. I'd expect nothing less to come out of Raider Nation, but this was just glorious.
The relentless pelting of throws from Derek Carr, the continuing legend of Kareem Hunt, Marshawn Lynch being ejected for personal foul, then hilariously sneaks into the crowd incognito to watch the rest of the game. All were just wonderful to witness.
Then to top it all off, the constant replays of the final drive, ending in an eventual touchdown from Michael Crabtree, only for everyone to realise that they still need the extra point and to get off the field as quickly as goddamn possible, with said kick being drilled to cap off an incredible game. What the fuck is with Thursday Night Football games being complete show stoppers recently?
Normally I'd be upset that my prediction was wrong, but with a game like that, I'll let it slide.
Minnesota Vikings vs. Baltimore Ravens
U.S. Bank Stadium, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Actual Result: Vikings 24-16 Ravens
Kyle Said: Vikings (1-1)
Stuart Said: Vikings (1-1)
Yup, the car is still needing repairs...
Despite injury woes, the Vikings are keeping it together incredibly well. The depth of their running game is very admirable, with Latavius Murray having his chance to shine. Case Keenum continues to be the rock that this team so dearly needs and holds it together for another game.
Meanwhile, the Ravens just looked woeful once again. I do not exaggerate when I find everybody, except kicker Justin Tucker, to be underachieving. Joe Flacco was fine, but his throws just ended up going nowhere as they were continuously snuffed by the viks defence. Limited offence matched with a hot/cold level of polarising defence creates a team that still needs to find the one thing that I previously criticised the Vikings for lacking (and now finally posses): consistency.
Green Bay Packers vs. New Orleans Saints
Lambeau Field, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Actual Result: Packers 17-26 Saints
Kyle Said: Saints (2-1)
Stuart: Saints (2-1)
Well this went exactly how I thought it would. The Packers are a completely different team without Aaron Rodgers. Brett Hundley tried his best, but it was the superior aerial offence of Drew Brees that took the Saints above and sealed the victory.
Miami Dolphins vs. New York Jets
Hard Rock Stadium, Miami, Florida
Actual Result: 31-28 Jets
Kyle Said: Jets (2-2)
Stuart Said: Dolphins (3-1)
Damn it, Jets! The one time I pick you to win, despite all signs saying it's in your best interests to lose; despite Josh McCown resorting to the D.I.Y. tactics of touchdown scoring, and a rather flat offence in general, all it took was for Jay Cutler to be injured and Matt Moore to carry the Dolphins to victory with a fourth quarter comeback that would make Matt Stafford proud. Did you learn nothing from the Drew Bledsoe incident?!!
Chicago Bears vs. Carolina Panthers
Soldier Field, Chicago, Illinois
Actual Result: Bears 17-3 Panthers
Kyle Said: Panthers (2-3)
Stuart Said: Panthers (3-2)
Dave, look away. It's not pretty.
*Deep Breath*
What. Was. That?!!
That...was pathetic!
Mitchell Trubisky was 4/7 on throwing attempts! 4! out of 7! That's barely a decent drive, never mind a full fucking game!
The Panthers were the superior team in every way! Better offence, more stable defence. Yet it was those dreaded pick sixes that put them away. Take those away, and we would've been left with a 3-3 deadlock of a game, that I would've predicted to end in a straight up draw after overtime. That was how bad this game was. The Panthers were just straight up cocky in their performance, and they suffered for it with very sloppy throwing from Cam Newton.
Los Angeles Rams vs. Arizona Cardinals
Twickenham Stadium, London,England
Actual Result: Rams 33-0 Cardinals
Kyle Said: Rams (3-3)
Stuart Said: Rams (4-2)
Well, I think the Rams may have just earned themselves a handful of new fans thanks to this blowout of a game from London. The Rams are continuing their red hot streak of success, and I am starting to believe the hype. This team is legit this season! Jared Goff still has some kinks to work out, but he is continuing to grow into a now legitimate quarterback, and the rest of the team is as well. Todd Gurley once again continues to shine as a stellar running back, and fantasy league gold mine.
As for the Cardinals...your injury plague continues as Carson Palmer goes down with a broken arm. His replacement? Drew Staton...you're fucked.
Buffalo Bills vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Ralph Wilson Stadium, Buffalo, New York
Actual Result: Bills 30-27 Buccaneers
Kyle Said: Bills (4-3)
Stuart Said: Bills (5-2)
An impressive game, and an impressive win for the Bills. An exciting fourth quarter back-and-forth is always a treat to watch, especially with the game on the line, coming down to a final field goal from Stephen Huaschka (now joint tied with 4 others for most consecutive over 50 yard field goals). The Bucs continued to display themselves as a pass threat with the likes of Mike Evans on their team, but it was the gritty run game of the Bills thanks to LeSean McCoy that carried the Bills to victory. Keep this up, Bills, and the fertile land that is the playoffs will finally be yours to grace.
Indianapolis Colts vs. Jacksonville Jaguars
Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, Indiana
Actual Result: Colts 0-27 Jaguars
Kyle Said: Jaguars (5-3)
Stuart Said: Jaguars (6-2)
A blowout at home? Ohh, not like that! Not like that!
Man, that was painful to watch. The Colts couldn't muster up anything against the Jags. Even with a couple turnovers to give the Colts a fighting chance in the second half, it went nowhere. Even without Leonard Fournette, T.J. Yeldon and Chris Ivory pick up the slack on the Jags running game.
What else is there to say about this game? Other than Chuck Pagano's days as the Colts head coach are about as limited as an advent calendar. Tank on, my wayward Colts.
Cleveland Browns vs. Tennessee Titans
FirstEnergy Stadium, Cleveland, Ohio
Actual Result: Browns 9-12 Titans (OT)
Kyle Said: Titans (6-3)
Stuart Said: Titans (7-2)
Ahh, the Factory of Sadness A.K.A FirstEnergy Stadium continues to disappoint fans of the Browns in spectacular fashion.
So where do we start? Well I guess we should probably go ahead and put another name onto that illustrious Browns jersey (look it up: it's a now-out-date collection of every single starting quarterback for the Browns since Tim Couch way back in 1999 all on one gloriously weighed down jersey) as Cody Kessler will probably get the go ahead over Deshone Kizer after footage of Kizer emerged of him partying late Saturday night. Johnny Manziel approves. Kessler replaced Kizer late into the game, threw for a couple interceptions (great start), and this complete nothingness of a game (see also death by field goal) went to overtime, and the Titans ended it there with one final 'pea shooter' field goal pelt. Gonna need better than that, Titans, if you want play off success...
San Francisco 49ers vs. Dallas Cowboys
Levi's Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Actual Result: 49ers 10-40 Cowboys
Kyle Said: Cowboys (7-3)
Stuart Said: Cowboys (8-2)
Oh, hi, Dallas Cowboys. Welcome back, and congratulations on absolutely levelling a win-less 49ers team. Ezekiel Elliot continues to decimate teams like they were oatmeal. Downside? Dan Bailey's out on a groin injury (adjust fantasy accordingly!) and your safety Jeff Heath did a pretty admirable job in the meantime. Maybe go and get Josh Brown? He'd fit right in with your organisation, the spouse abusing fuck that he is...
Los Angeles Chargers vs. Denver Broncos
StubHub Centre, Carson, Los Angeles, California
Actual Result: Chargers 21-0 Broncos
Kyle Said: Broncos (7-4)
Stuart Said: Broncos (8-3)
...Jesus...
An absolute embarrassment on the road for the Broncos. A blowout! It's the Chargers, for fuck's sake! It should've felt like a home game with the fan turnouts at StubHub Centre as of late...
Couple fumbles, a straight up pick six, and the mediocre made manifest Chargers stun you!
Get your shit together, Broncos!
New York Giants vs. Seattle Seahawks
MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Actual Result: Giants 7-24 Seahawks
Kyle Said: Seahawks (8-4)
Stuart Said: Seahawks (9-3)
An admirable effort by the Giants against the Legion of Boom; but sadly, it was just a case of being out played. The Seahawks ran rampant over the g-men, despite the best defensive efforts the Giants could muster. Holding them to the final quarter was a valiant effort, but ultimately the defence couldn't keep up. Despite screwing it up for themselves in terms of penalties given, the Seahawks emerged victorious, as they continue to pursue the Rams for top spot in their division.
I expected worse...
Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Cincinnati Bengals
Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Actual Result: Steelers 29-14 Bengals
Kyle Said: Steelers (9-4)
Stuart Said: Steelers (10-3)
Well, the Bengals did well to keep it somewhat competitive for like a quarter and a half (equate that, bitch!), but it was the pea shooting death by field goals that put you away. Not to mention some dirty plays in the second quarter once again screwing you out of a potentially winnable situation. After that, the game mentality shifted and the Steelers rained holy hell fire upon you.
New England Patriots vs. Atlanta Falcons
Gillette Stadium, Foxborough, Massachusetts
Actual Result: Patriots 23-7 Falcons
Kyle Said: Patriots (10-4)
Stuart Said: Patriots (11-3)
Was there actually a game on? I couldn't see...
Say what you will about the weather conditions, but as the late, great comedian George Carlin said:
"Football is played in any kind of weather. Rain, sleet, snow, hail, mud, can't read the numbers on the field, can't read the yard markers, can't read the players numbers, the struggle will continue."
And that's exactly what happened. By all accounts, a very good game, just that the Patriots edged this one out from the start and bested the Falcons altogether.
Well you can't blow a lead if you never lead from the start...
Philadelphia Eagles vs. Washington Redskins
Lincoln Financial Field, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Actual Result: Eagles 34-24 Redskins
Kyle Said: Eagles (11-4)
Stuart Said: Eagles (12-3)
A classic NFC East rivalry concluded on Monday Night Football, and a great game it was. The Eagles continue to dominate the NFC East and take the lead by 3 games over both the Cowboys and Redskins. The Redskins kept it competitive, allowing Kirk Cousins to once again show that he deserves to be on a real team, but it was the better ground game of the Eagles, and the literal magic spells of Carson Wentz that made this an Eagles win. Seriously, escaping a total clusterfuck of a rush and he escapes unscathed. Total magic!
*Phew* and there it is! Week 7 wrapped up in a neat, little package. Let's check the scores for this week:
Kyle: 11-4
Stuart: 12-3
Now those are some numbers! This now brings the totals to:
Kyle: 57-49
Stuart: 62-44
Onward to Week 8, where the glorious tanking of both the Giants and the Colts should start in full swing.
Go other team!
Comments
Post a Comment