NFL Divisional Finals Preview and Predictions: By Kyle Balfour

NFL Week 6 Preview:
By Stuart Tomlin

It’s Sunday, Gameday, and that means that I am way, way behind deadline on this preview. But, my laptop is on injured reserve and my schedule has been crazy busy with Uni and other things, so here we are.

This will be a slightly lighter preview than normal due to time constraints, but I’ll try and make the best of it.

The Colts aren’t till Monday so I’ll be spending this evening in a bar in Aberdeen watching the Sky games. And eating free wings. Gonna be a good one.

Anyway, onto this week.

Carolina Panthers v. Philadelphia Eagles
Bank of America Stadium, Charlotte, North Carolina

It’d be a bit silly of me to try and preview a game that’s already happened. I picked the Eagles to win on Thursday beforehand, and it surprisingly worked out well for me seeing as usually when I pick the Panthers they lose, and when I pick against them, they win. Eagles bucking the trend this week, and they look for real. Will they keep it up or go full Eagles later in the season? It remains to be seen. The Panthers meanwhile seem to be something closer to the 15-1 2015 team rather than last year’s 6-10 effort.

Baltimore Ravens v. Chicago Bears
MT&T Bank Stadium, Baltimore, Maryland

Okay, onto tonight’s games and we start with the meeting of the Ravens and the Bears. Trubisky time is fully in effect in Chicago and it seems to be going ever so slightly better than it was under Mike Glennon, 3-2 first half games aside. Well, it’s been one game. That game. That remains to be seen. The Ravens seem to be picking up form again after being terrible the previous two weeks, dominating a surprisingly struggling Raiders team. Trubisky could end up being very good or he could be another bust, it remains to be seen. I refuse to talk up the Baltimore defence as we all know how that works out, but they should do enough here to keep Trubisky out. Ravens.

Minnesota Vikings v. Green Bay Packers
US Bank Stadium, Minneapolis, Minnesota

One of the best regular derbies of the season in my book. The Vikings and the Packers is always a fun game to watch, no matter how both teams are doing. The Curse of the Super Bowl hosts is in full effect now, as the Vikings will be without Sam Bradford this week. Welpppp…Aaron Rodgers is on the other sideline. This might get ugly in a hurry. The Vikings’ defence has been, well, ehhh this year. Can’t see past Green Bay putting more misery on the Vikes. Packers.

Washington Redskins v. San Francisco 49ers
FedEx Field, Landover, Maryland

The Kirk Cousins Bowl, as his current team plays off against his likely next team. Fully expect this in “Freezing Cold Takes” in about a year from now. The Washingtons were on bye last week, and the previous four weeks have been mixed. They took the unbeaten Chiefs to the wire two weeks ago, and looked very improved in weeks 2 and 3 after getting battered by the Eagles week 1. The Niners meanwhile are still to get their first win of the season despite my Colts pretty much trying to give them it on a silver platter last weekend. For fuck’s sake. I honestly can’t see the Niners going to Washington and getting their first win of the year, so it’ll have to be the Washingtons. A final note: I’ve brought in Kirk Cousins to replace Matt Stafford in fantasy. Expect very little from him this week as a result of this.

New Orleans Saints v. Detroit Lions
Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana

Speaking of Matt Stafford, he WILL Play despite being hampered with a dodgy ankle. How good he will play because of this is very much up for discussion…or we can wait and see how he goes. Because I’ve dropped him in fantasy he’ll probably go and throw five touchdowns. The Saints traded away Adrian Peterson this week, and now have Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram fighting for snaps. Seriously, unless you’re the Atlanta Falcons, running back by committee does not work. Sighhh, I need to make a pick here. I initially was gonna pick Detroit, but with the doubts with his ankle, I’m gonna go for the upset and take the Saints. See, there is benefits to going beyond the deadline.

*Detroit immediately wins*

Atlanta Falcons v. Miami Dolphins

Mercedes Benz Stadium, Atlanta, Georgia

The Falcons only have one loss this year, but they’ve been on the edge of losing a couple of times, against the Bears and the Lions, they’ve needed to be bailed out on the final play. The reigning NFC Champions come off the bye to take on the Dolphins, who finally benched Jay Cutler halfway through their home opener, and it’s a strange sentence to say, until you understand that they’ve had two home games that were either – a) called off due to a Hurricane, and b) played in London. Saying that, Cutler getting booed in the home opener? You don’t say? They got a win over a Mariota-less Titans last week after Cutler was benched, but I can’t see them going to Atlanta and taking the win. Surely not. Now I’ve said that, expect the unexpected. But I still fancy the Falcons to get themselves back on track after their week 4 loss to the Bills. Falcons.

Houston Texans v. Cleveland Browns
NRG Stadium, Houston, Texas

The Texans will once again be without JJ Watt for the rest of the season…this could cause huge problems for them…who they got this week…*checks*…the Cleveland Browns

Nah, they’ll be fine.

Every year, the Browns say “this will be the year to improve” and every year, they’re a fucking bin fire. Once again this year, they are an absolute fucking bin fire. DeShone Kizer has been benched for Kevin Hogan, who will be starting probably for the foreseeable future. However, Myles Garrett got a sack on his first NFL play last week, and looks every bit the player he could be, so that is a positive for them. He’ll be looking to get after DeShaun Watson, who the Browns could have had…I mean, Wentz, Watson, seriously Browns eventually you’re gonna have to draft a fucking quarterback early…that’ll work out well for you, I promise…Anyway, Watson looks a hell of a player. Could be incredibly dangerous for years to come. What division is he in?

The AFC South.

Fuck. Texans

New York Jets v. New England Patriots
MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey

Yawn, here we go again, the annual leathering of the Jets by the Patriots in MetLife…wait, what do you mean they have the same record? The Patriots were gonna go 16-0? The Jets were gonna go 0-16? They’re both 3-2? What the hell is this season?

Just goes to show you can’t always look towards the predictions to be correct. The Jets have decided “Fuck tanking the season” and have actually started to look like a competent outfit. The Pats’ defence has been an absolute shambles and they’ve started to rely on Tom Brady doing Tom Brady things to win games. This could go a long way to deciding the fate of the AFC East…

Which is why the Patriots will probably do Patriots things and give the Jets an absolute leathering, and normality will resume.

Because Patriots. Patriots.

Arizona Cardinals v. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona

Onto the nine o’clock games, and the first one sees the Cardinals take on the Buccaneers in Glendale. The Cardinals seem to have mostly fallen off the face of the Earth this last couple of years, bar Larry Fitzgerald being ageless and David Johnson being incredible…then injured. Cue the trade for Adrian Peterson. Well then. Peterson has a chance to become a starting running back again while Johnson is out, ahead of their visit to Twickenham next week (which I will be at, by the way). The Buccaneers have been quietly going about their business for the most part, except from having more kicker troubles. I will try not to make a second round pick joke here. They cut Nick Folk after missing three field goals, two of which would have beaten the fucking Patriots. They’ve brought Patrick Murray back to try and change that…good luck with that. The Buccaneers look more competent overall this year, and I like Winston a lot more than Palmer, therefore, Buccaneers.

Jacksonville Jaguars v. Los Angeles Rams
Everbank Field, Jacksonville, Florida

Speaking of teams that will be at Twickenham, the other team in the game I’m going to next week, the Rams, take on the Jags in Jacksonville. And this is the battle of which of these teams are for real this year. Both teams have been incredibly surprising, with Jared Goff starting to look like a real Quarterback and the Rams’ defence being superb, while the Jaguars have minimised the effect of Blake Bortles with a powerful running game with Leonard Fournette and a defence that is playing some very good football at this point. We’re at the point where both of these teams should be getting more credit than they have been getting, with the results often blamed on bad performances of their opponents. No excuses here. Who’s for real? Personally, I’m torn. It may come down to whose offence is better. It might actually come down to a shootout between Blake Bortles and Jared Goff, a thought that would have been hilarious this time last year. It’s still kinda funny. But my faith is higher in Goff. Rams.

Oakland Raiders v. Los Angeles Chargers
O-co Coliseum, Oakland, California

It’s the Battle of Los Angeles sports fans, with the city’s newest team playing the team they actually wanted to move there. However, it’s in Oakland this time, with the return fixture being later in the season. We’ll have to wait a bit to see StubHub Center being full of Raiders fans. In the meantime, the Chargers got their first win of the season last week against the Giants, and the Raiders have been struggling so far this season and are without Derek Carr. EJ Manuel will once again get the start. I never would have seen this coming at the start of the year, if you told me I was picking the Chargers to beat the Raiders week 6, I would have told you you were crazy. And yet…I’ll still call you crazy, to be honest, even without Derek Carr. Raiders. The Chiefs are still walking away with this division, mind you.

Kansas City Chiefs v. Pittsburgh Steelers
Arrowhead Stadium, Kansas City, Missouri

I love how this is all naturally segueing into the next game. Thank you, Google previews. Speaking of the Chiefs, 1972 Miami Dolphins watch continues with their game against the Steelers, as the NFL’s only remaining unbeaten team continues on. The Chiefs have been incredible this season, and I say this every week, but Alex Smith is playing the best football of his career. He might be a shout for the MVP at this rate. Kareem Hunt and Tyreek Hill are also incredible. You’ve heard this all before. The Steelers, fresh off murdering my Survivor hopes for the season by losing to the Jaguars, I mean seriously? How do I lose three straight games? Regardless, the Steelers often play down to their competition, but as I said the Jaguars might actually be good this year…this season is so confusing. They might play up to the Chiefs. But I reckon the 1972 Miami Dolphins have some time to wait yet. Chiefs.

Denver Broncos v. New York Giants
Sports Authority Field at Mile High, Denver, Colorado

Waiting all day for an absolute beatdown. My God, Giants, we all expected a New York team to suck this year but we didn’t expect you to fill the void left by the Jets! Odell Beckham is out for the season, the running game is a mess and the offensive line is an absolute turnstile, while the defence is suffering injuries.

THISISFINE.GIF

The Broncos meanwhile seem to once again just going about their business and look like they have a shot at the playoffs, albeit likely as a wildcard team as the Chiefs are currently dominating the AFC West. They are once again going off a very good defence and Siemian is doing enough to game manage and win games. They’ll be fine. The Giants are pretty much doomed at this point. Broncos.

Tennessee Titans v. Indianapolis Colts
LP Field, Nashville, Tennessee

Marcus Mariota might play this week, but it’s very much a game-time decision. Andrew Luck won’t, but is nearly back, I’m reckoning two weeks from now for Luck’s season debut. So Monday Night Football might see Matt Cassel vs. Jacoby Brissett. To be fair, Cassel has played against the Colts before for the Titans, and Jacoby Brissett has been playing very much above average from what was expected. We’re still alive in the AFC South, and have the chance to get back to .500. If Mariota plays our chances will go down a bit, but without him, the Titans may well struggle. The Colts need to find a way to get our defence off the field more, to allow them to stop getting gassed and giving up points after impressive starts. To be honest, we need to stop falling to bits in the fourth quarter. I feel the return of a certain Mr Luck will probably remedy that. In the meantime, Brissett hopefully does enough here. Homer pick, but Colts.

I know that I can't take no more
Ain't no lie
I want to see you out that door
Baby bye bye bye

Buffalo Bills, Cincinnati Bengals, Dallas Cowboys, Seattle Seahawks

Yes, I just quoted N-Sync.

No you fuck off.

Anyway, that’ll do it for Week 6. Way behind deadline and schedule, but that’s the nature of life, or something wise and witty like that.

Enjoy the games, and good luck to your teams and fantasy teams unless you’re playing mine. Then I hope your running back fumbles the ball on the goal line and it’s run in for a touchdown.

And as always, Go Colts.