Week 5 Preview and Predictions - By Kyle Balfour
So here we are, Week 5 of the NFL Season, and bye weeks are now in full swing (excluding those precautionary ones at the start of the season for the Dolphins and Buccaneers). The New York Giants continue their victory drought, and we have some exciting match ups for us to preview. But first:
Bye Week Shout Outs to the Atlanta Falcons, Denver Broncos, New Orleans Saints, and the Washington Redskins. Enjoy your week of rest.
Also, this weeks Betting Bastard of the Week goes to the Atlanta Falcons. Enjoy that bye week, and maybe learn how not to blow leads! Costly turnovers, as well as passing on a 4th and 1! Are you serious? Did you learn nothing from the Super Bowl? Sure, the Bills are probably expecting a run game, but it's one yard! One yard! Anyways, "You blew it!", to quote Billy Madison.
Now with the introductions out of the way, let's dig right into Week 5!
Buccaneers vs Patriots - Patriots
So the Patriots aren't off to the greatest of starts, but I still think they can muster a win out of the so-so Bucs. The wrath of Belichick should have hopefully mustered the defence back into shape, but who knows how this could potentially play out.
Colts vs 49ers - Colts
So the Colts did well against the Seahawks (for the first half) before completely imploding on the field, however I think they can maintain it for 2 halfs against the Niners. Subdue Carlos Hyde, pressure Brian Hoyer, and I think the Colts can come out strong. Plus it'll be a good chance for Frank Gore to get some good yards against his former team!
Browns vs Jets - Uhh...
...
...
Fuck!
You thought Jets vs Jags was bad? Ohh, boy, it gets worse! Welcome to a very strong worst case scenario! If you're the Jets, and you win, Josh McCown get 3 straight wins for the first time in his 15 season career, and you begin to rule yourself out of drafting high this season. Lose, and you lost to the Cleveland Browns! Nobody wants to be that team. It was the Chargers last season. Do you want to be included in that list of illustrious short-bus using honourees.
As for Cleveland: win, and you finally notch yourself a win; lose, and you continue to circle the drain of pathetic and pretty much set the scenario for a sequel to Draft Day, where you will no doubt be handed the first overall pick once a-fucking-gain! Not even the Edmonton Oilers sunk this low...
Ahh, screw it, go with the Jets. In spite of the team being gutted to oblivion, they're acting somewhat competently.
Steelers vs Jaguars - Steelers
So the Steelers woke themselves up against the Ravens and delivered a tidy win, despite Anotonio Brown being a whiny baby. Hopefully he found his cool and his catching hands as they face the Jaguars. Just don't play down to them like you did against the Bears...
Giants vs Chargers - The God Damn Giants!
So it's come down to this. 2 teams. Both 0-4. Both teams enter, one leaves 1-4. This is make or break for the Giants. If they lose, the season, as far as I am concerned, is done. We should not be in this position, we just shouldn't! We should at least be 2-2, 3-1 had the Eagles not called in another favour from the football gods. We are better than this! I know it! Ben McAdoo SHOULD know it! The team definitely knows it, and it better be on display against the depleted Chargers!
Come on, New York Giants, you can do this!
Bengals vs Bills - Bills
So here's an interesting match up. Both the Bills and the Bengals looking to secure another win to hopefully silence any write off claims. It could be a tight game, but I'm edging more towards the Bills. The run game will be more effective, I feel, and unless that offensive line holds up, Andy Dalton is going to have himself a bad time.
Lions vs Panthers - Lions
Cat fight! After coming off an incredible victory against New England, the Panthers look like a slight return to form, even with Cam Newton slowly becoming an even bigger media circus, but he's throwing good again so that's a plus. However, I feel the Lions will voodoo their way past this one, coming down to good old 4th quarter pagan ritual.
Dolphins vs Titans - Titans
The underdog story reached it's lowest point last week, with a complete termination at the hands of the Texans. Now they look to face a highly inconsistent Miami Dolphins. Even with Mariota injured, and replaced by Brandon Weeden of all people, I think the Titans can do it over the Dolphins.
Eagles vs Cardinals - Eagles
Bird fight! The Eagles continue to maintain a strong winning sense as they face the middling Cardinals. Even with Larry Fitzgerald, the lack of David Johnson, I feel, will leave the Cards looking a little lacking in weapons to pass to, whilst the Eagles contain a plethora of reliable targets for Carson Wentz. I say the Eagles take this one.
Raiders vs Ravens - Raiders
Well, if there was ever a team to give the Raiders a slight break after their loss to Denver, it's the Ravens. This will prove to be a good testing ground for E.J. Manuel to get his feet wet and hopefully take the Raiders to another win. As for the Ravens, they're looking pretty humdrum so far, despite being 2-2 to start. Unless Flacco has some flair and finesse left, I think the Raiders will win.
Rams vs Seahawks - Rams
Bogie team! The Rams have begun to have the Seahawks number as of the last few matchups, and I think this game will be no different. This could really be the start of something for the Rams if they can keep this up. This will be a strong test for them. On the other side of the field, if the Seahawks are going to win, they need to get some strong offence going. I feel relying on defence too much in this match up will cost them.
Cowboys vs Packers - Packers
Ahh, last years divisional playoff rematch. That was a close game, but I think the Packers will repeat and emerge victorious, if only by the skin of their mouth guards. The Cowboys will be looking to bounce back after last week, and a very hungry Ezekiel Elliot will be looking to make the difference.
Texans vs Chiefs - Chiefs
So...are the Texans good this season? They continue to polarise the league after an incredible deconstruction of the Titans, but I unfortunately can't see them beating the Chiefs. Their technical trickery will unravel the Texans defence, and I'm not sure if Deshaun Watson will be able to get much out of this game.
Bears vs Vikings - Vikings
What a turnout we have hear: the rather weak looking Chicago Bears and a slowly injury succumbing Minnesota Vikings, in a divisional matchup that's looking pretty stacked thanks to the sneaky Detroit Lions and the Green Bay juggernaut that is the Packers. Unless Mitchell Trubisky has some kind of Tom Brady magic in his hands, I'm saying the Vikings will win this. Even without their star rookie RB, and whether or not Sam Bradford is healthy enough to return, I think the Vikings defence will be able to make work of the Bears.
There we are! The Week 5 preview complete. Now we just pray to see who's remains in the win-less basement of the NFL. 4 teams remain, but at least one will be leaving! Please be the Giants! For the love of god!
So thank you for reading, and hope we can get some good games out of this week.
Go Giants!
So here we are, Week 5 of the NFL Season, and bye weeks are now in full swing (excluding those precautionary ones at the start of the season for the Dolphins and Buccaneers). The New York Giants continue their victory drought, and we have some exciting match ups for us to preview. But first:
Bye Week Shout Outs to the Atlanta Falcons, Denver Broncos, New Orleans Saints, and the Washington Redskins. Enjoy your week of rest.
Also, this weeks Betting Bastard of the Week goes to the Atlanta Falcons. Enjoy that bye week, and maybe learn how not to blow leads! Costly turnovers, as well as passing on a 4th and 1! Are you serious? Did you learn nothing from the Super Bowl? Sure, the Bills are probably expecting a run game, but it's one yard! One yard! Anyways, "You blew it!", to quote Billy Madison.
Now with the introductions out of the way, let's dig right into Week 5!
Buccaneers vs Patriots - Patriots
So the Patriots aren't off to the greatest of starts, but I still think they can muster a win out of the so-so Bucs. The wrath of Belichick should have hopefully mustered the defence back into shape, but who knows how this could potentially play out.
Colts vs 49ers - Colts
So the Colts did well against the Seahawks (for the first half) before completely imploding on the field, however I think they can maintain it for 2 halfs against the Niners. Subdue Carlos Hyde, pressure Brian Hoyer, and I think the Colts can come out strong. Plus it'll be a good chance for Frank Gore to get some good yards against his former team!
Browns vs Jets - Uhh...
...
...
Fuck!
You thought Jets vs Jags was bad? Ohh, boy, it gets worse! Welcome to a very strong worst case scenario! If you're the Jets, and you win, Josh McCown get 3 straight wins for the first time in his 15 season career, and you begin to rule yourself out of drafting high this season. Lose, and you lost to the Cleveland Browns! Nobody wants to be that team. It was the Chargers last season. Do you want to be included in that list of illustrious short-bus using honourees.
As for Cleveland: win, and you finally notch yourself a win; lose, and you continue to circle the drain of pathetic and pretty much set the scenario for a sequel to Draft Day, where you will no doubt be handed the first overall pick once a-fucking-gain! Not even the Edmonton Oilers sunk this low...
Ahh, screw it, go with the Jets. In spite of the team being gutted to oblivion, they're acting somewhat competently.
Steelers vs Jaguars - Steelers
So the Steelers woke themselves up against the Ravens and delivered a tidy win, despite Anotonio Brown being a whiny baby. Hopefully he found his cool and his catching hands as they face the Jaguars. Just don't play down to them like you did against the Bears...
Giants vs Chargers - The God Damn Giants!
So it's come down to this. 2 teams. Both 0-4. Both teams enter, one leaves 1-4. This is make or break for the Giants. If they lose, the season, as far as I am concerned, is done. We should not be in this position, we just shouldn't! We should at least be 2-2, 3-1 had the Eagles not called in another favour from the football gods. We are better than this! I know it! Ben McAdoo SHOULD know it! The team definitely knows it, and it better be on display against the depleted Chargers!
Come on, New York Giants, you can do this!
Bengals vs Bills - Bills
So here's an interesting match up. Both the Bills and the Bengals looking to secure another win to hopefully silence any write off claims. It could be a tight game, but I'm edging more towards the Bills. The run game will be more effective, I feel, and unless that offensive line holds up, Andy Dalton is going to have himself a bad time.
Lions vs Panthers - Lions
Cat fight! After coming off an incredible victory against New England, the Panthers look like a slight return to form, even with Cam Newton slowly becoming an even bigger media circus, but he's throwing good again so that's a plus. However, I feel the Lions will voodoo their way past this one, coming down to good old 4th quarter pagan ritual.
Dolphins vs Titans - Titans
The underdog story reached it's lowest point last week, with a complete termination at the hands of the Texans. Now they look to face a highly inconsistent Miami Dolphins. Even with Mariota injured, and replaced by Brandon Weeden of all people, I think the Titans can do it over the Dolphins.
Eagles vs Cardinals - Eagles
Bird fight! The Eagles continue to maintain a strong winning sense as they face the middling Cardinals. Even with Larry Fitzgerald, the lack of David Johnson, I feel, will leave the Cards looking a little lacking in weapons to pass to, whilst the Eagles contain a plethora of reliable targets for Carson Wentz. I say the Eagles take this one.
Raiders vs Ravens - Raiders
Well, if there was ever a team to give the Raiders a slight break after their loss to Denver, it's the Ravens. This will prove to be a good testing ground for E.J. Manuel to get his feet wet and hopefully take the Raiders to another win. As for the Ravens, they're looking pretty humdrum so far, despite being 2-2 to start. Unless Flacco has some flair and finesse left, I think the Raiders will win.
Rams vs Seahawks - Rams
Bogie team! The Rams have begun to have the Seahawks number as of the last few matchups, and I think this game will be no different. This could really be the start of something for the Rams if they can keep this up. This will be a strong test for them. On the other side of the field, if the Seahawks are going to win, they need to get some strong offence going. I feel relying on defence too much in this match up will cost them.
Cowboys vs Packers - Packers
Ahh, last years divisional playoff rematch. That was a close game, but I think the Packers will repeat and emerge victorious, if only by the skin of their mouth guards. The Cowboys will be looking to bounce back after last week, and a very hungry Ezekiel Elliot will be looking to make the difference.
Texans vs Chiefs - Chiefs
So...are the Texans good this season? They continue to polarise the league after an incredible deconstruction of the Titans, but I unfortunately can't see them beating the Chiefs. Their technical trickery will unravel the Texans defence, and I'm not sure if Deshaun Watson will be able to get much out of this game.
Bears vs Vikings - Vikings
What a turnout we have hear: the rather weak looking Chicago Bears and a slowly injury succumbing Minnesota Vikings, in a divisional matchup that's looking pretty stacked thanks to the sneaky Detroit Lions and the Green Bay juggernaut that is the Packers. Unless Mitchell Trubisky has some kind of Tom Brady magic in his hands, I'm saying the Vikings will win this. Even without their star rookie RB, and whether or not Sam Bradford is healthy enough to return, I think the Vikings defence will be able to make work of the Bears.
There we are! The Week 5 preview complete. Now we just pray to see who's remains in the win-less basement of the NFL. 4 teams remain, but at least one will be leaving! Please be the Giants! For the love of god!
So thank you for reading, and hope we can get some good games out of this week.
Go Giants!
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