NFL Divisional Finals Preview and Predictions: By Kyle Balfour

Week 8 Review:
By Stuart Tomlin

Well, that was not a quiet week wasn’t it?

Some absolutely block-buster trades with the Dolphins trading away London-born Jay Ajayi (to give him his full name) to the NFC Champion elect Philadelphia Eagles (sorry in advance for the jinx). The San Francisco 49ers got their quarterback of the future a few months earlier than planned by picking up Jimmy Garappolo, and Kelvin Benjamin moved from the Panthers to the Bills.

We did promise you TWO reviews this week, so myself and Kyle will both be having a look at the week that just passed. Let’s get on with shall we?

Batimore Ravens vs. Miami Dolphins

M&T Bank Stadium, Baltimore, Maryland

Stuart Said: Dolphins (0-1)

Kyle Said: Dolphins (0-1)

Actual Result: Ravens 40-0 Dolphins

Thought this might be a competitive Thursday Night game once again this week…nope. Thought the Dolphins would play up to their opposition…once again…nope. The game was over by halftime, which is when I called it and went to bed. It seems I did not really miss that much. However, the Dolphins’ approach to being stymied by the Ravens’ defence was Kiki Alonso trying to murder Joe Flacco. There was absolutely no need for that challenge when Flacco was already sliding. What the absolute fuck was he thinking? He escaped any sort of suspension because the NFL’s wheel of discipline is too busy trying to figure out exactly how to suspend Ezekiel Elliott for six games. On the plus side though, the Ravens absolutely leathered the Dolphins six ways from Sunday, so some sort of justice was done I guess.

Cleveland Browns vs. Minnesota Vikings

Twickenham Stadium, London, England

Stuart Said: Vikings (1-1)

Kyle Said: Vikings (1-1)

Actual Result: Browns 16-33 Vikings

The Browns were looking competitive and potentially even threatened to win their first game of the season. This was automatically the best London game of the season on the grounds that it wasn’t a fucking blowout for the entire game. And then the Browns fell to bits because Browns, and it turned into the fourth London blowout of the season. Never mind, there’s always a trade for AJ McCarron to celebrate…you couldn’t get that done either, huh? Sigh. The Vikings meanwhile are taking advantage of Aaron Rodgers being out and are leading the NFC North despite being the Super Bowl hosts, and aren’t Super Bowl hosts supposed to be terrible? That curse’ll strike again somehow, no doubt. On a final note, massive thumbs up to Adam Thielen for his sliding celebration after his touchdown. That was ace.

Buffalo Bills vs. Oakland Raiders

Ralph Wilson Stadium, Buffalo, New York

Stuart Said: Raiders (1-2)

Kyle Said: Bills (2-1)

Actual Result: Bills 34-14 Raiders

Remember when the Bills were going to be tanking this season? They’ve just traded for Kelvin Benjamin from the Panthers, to add alongside Sammy Watkins. Tyrod Taylor has been very good this year and they just gave him another weapon. The Wildcard may await you guys. Don’t fuck it up. They absolutely dismantled a Raiders side who have been nothing short of disappointing this season, and after a couple of years of being competitive, the Raiders seem to be back to the old Raiders we all know and love. Utter pish. Enjoy that, Las Vegas! On a side note, fuck the New Era Field. It’ll always be the Ralph Wilson Stadium to me.

Cincinnati Bengals vs Indianapolis Colts

Paul Brown Stadium, Cincinnati, Ohio

Stuart Said: Colts (1-3)

Kyle Said: Bengals (3-1)

Actual Result: Bengals 24-23 Colts

Fuck off.

Just, fuck off.

You couldn’t give me this one, huh, NFL Gods? You couldn’t give me this one damn win? We were in the lead once again, ONCE AGAIN, then Jacoby Brissett Pick-Sixes us to fucking oblivion, and we lose by a point to the God damn Bengals. The Bengals who couldn’t score an offensive touchdown in their first two home games. And yet they have a chance in their division. Our season is literally over. Andrew Luck is on injured reserve, and with that, all hopes of us doing anything are absolutely gone.

Has Pagano been fired yet?

New England Patriots vs. Los Angeles Chargers

Gillette Stadium, Foxborough, Massachusetts

Stuart Said: Patriots (2-3)

Kyle Said: Patriots (4-1)

Actual Result: Patriots 21-13 Chargers

Oh my God the Patriots snuck out of this one with a win, didn’t they? Travis Benjamin managed to fumble the ball, recover it and yet run back into his endzone and be tackled by the punter, the PUNTER, for a safety in absolutely hilarious fashion. Despite that, it was a close game and I absolutely love Melvin Gordon. Thank you for all of the fantasy points this week. However, it came down to the final drive, and Phillip Rivers, in classic Phillip Rivers fashion, threw an absolutely crippling interception – or to use a retired term – went full Romo. Man, since he retired and became the best commentator in the world, I’ve gained so much respect for Tony Romo. That being said, Brady is still doing absolute bits despite having very little help.

He's dragging them back to the fucking Super Bowl again, isn’t he?

New Orleans Saints vs. Chicago Bears

Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana

Stuart Said: Saints (3-3)

Kyle Said: Saints (5-1)

Actual Result: Saints 20-12 Bears

Starting off with Zach Miller. An absolutely nasty injury that required surgery to save his leg. The absolute best wishes to him in his recovery. Hopefully one day we’ll see him back on the field. They should have let him keep that touchdown.

That being said, the Saints are grinding out wins this season and look like they might be a real playoff hope in the NFC this season, while the Bears have looked remarkably better with Mitch Trubisky. They are going…somewhere? I guess? Not sure where, but at least it’s not backwards under $15 million a season Mike Glennon, to give him his full name. I will never not laugh at that deal.

New York Jets vs. Atlanta Falcons

MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey

Stuart Said: Falcons (4-3)

Kyle Said: Falcons (6-1)

Actual Result: Jets 20-25 Falcons

Even in a season where the Jets have surpassed ALL expectations – I mean, it’s not hard to surpass 0-16, but still, give them their due – but the Jets still find ways to do Jetsy things and disappoint their fanbase. They managed to out-choke the Atlanta Falcons, for fuck’s sake. The Falcons really did not deserve to win this game, but they managed to pull off the win thanks to the Jets doing Jets things, and handing the Falcons the chance to avoid being swept by the AFC East. Bet you wouldn’t have said that at the start of the season. I mean, the Patriots, sure, but the Bills and Dolphins? Welp. At least for them they managed to avoid this by beating the Jets. Just.

Philadelphia Eagles vs. San Franciso 49ers

Lincoln Financial Field, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Stuart Said: Eagles (5-3)

Kyle Said: Eagles (7-1)

Actual Result: Eagles 33-10 49ers

Carson Wentz has been the best player in the league so far this season. There, I said it. The Eagles have been absolutely sensational this season and show absolutely no signs of stopping so far. Sorry for the jinx, Philly. But I’m a big fan of what they’ve done in the last couple of years. They took the Niners to bits here, sure it’s just the Niners and they haven’t won a game but you can only beat teams that are in front of you and they did that in some style. So far, this is my NFC Super Bowl team. Which means they’re probably getting homefield and losing in the divisional round. The Niners at least now have a Quarterback of the future, and Carlos Hyde. This season is dead for them but there’s always hope. Time to work on the rest of the roster.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Carolina Panthers

Raymond James Stadium, Tampa, Florida

Stuart Said: Buccaneers (5-4)

Kyle Said: Buccaneers (7-2)

Actual Result: Buccaneers 3-17 Panthers

Remember when I was tipping the Buccaneers to be one of the dark horses of the season? The fuck was I thinking? Jameis Winston has fallen off of a cliff this season and has been absolutely terrible. The Panthers continue to quietly go about their business, and Luke Kuechly is officially back, with eight tackles, two for a loss, and an interception. The Panthers have now reacted to this by…trading away their number one wide receiver. Huh. Not sure about that move, lads. I mean, McCaffrey looks decent, and I like the looks of Curtis Samuel, but still. Trading away your number one wide receiver is a huge risk, especially in a not-dead season. Let’s see if it works out for them.

Seattle Seahawks vs. Houston Texans

CenturyLink Field, Seattle, Washington

Stuart Said: Seahawks (6-4)

Kyle Said: Seahawks (8-2)

Actual Result: Seahawks 41-38 Texans

Absolute game of the week this week and one neither team really deserved to lose. DeShaun Watson has nineteen touchdown passes through seven games, a new record for an NFL rookie. He is very much for real. Unfortunately for him this week, he was also picked off three times by the Legion of Boom. This was a fantasy football player’s dream match, with offensive points throughout. The Seahawks gave up two touchdowns in the final quarter after not giving up any in the final quarter in any game so far this season, then Richard Sherman did Richard Sherman things and iced the game by grabbing the ball off Watson on the final drive of the game. Both teams should feel comfortable going forward. The Texans finally have a reliable quarterback, and the Seahawks are continuing to pick up wins in the face of a real challenge in the division, courtesy of the Rams.

Washington Redskins vs. Dallas Cowboys

FedExField, Landover, Maryland

Stuart Said: Cowboys (7-4)

Kyle Said: Cowboys (9-2)

Actual Result: Redskins 19-33 Cowboys

Let’s play a game. Is Ezekiel Elliott suspended yet?

Apparently the answer this week is “Yes” after the NFL managed to get a ruling to uphold his never ending six game suspension. So as it stands, he won’t play in the upcoming game. In the meantime, he ran for 150 yards in an impressive win for the Cowboys over the Washington Namechanges. Washington are now 0-3 in the division and their hopes in the NFC East seem to be gone, being three point five games back on the Eagles. The Cowboys still have a shot but without Elliott it’s gonna be incredibly difficult.

Detroit Lions vs. Pittsburgh Steelers

Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan

Actual Result: Lions 15-20 Steelers

Kyle Said: Lions (9-3)

Stuart Said: Lions (7-5)

I sat and watched this game, and while I did that, I put in a fantasy waiver for Juju Smith-Schuster . He looks incredibly impressive and scored a hell of a touchdown, then topped it off with the pretty funny benchpress celebration. Le’veon Bell continues to be absolutely boss and the Steelers continue their march to inevitably losing to the fucking Patriots in the playoffs. Meanwhile the Lions didn’t manage to rely on their normal fourth quarter comeback heroics and dropped another game. They need to get their act together soon, or they might be on the outside looking in when it comes to the playoffs.

Kansas City Chiefs vs. Denver Broncos

Arrowhead Stadium, Kansas City, Missouri
Stuart Said: Stuart (8-5)

Kyle Said: Kyle (10-3)

Actual Result: Chiefs 29-19 Broncos

The Chiefs were pretty dominant here for most of the game, and Alex Smith continues to play the best football of his career. They should coast to the AFC West at this point, as the Raiders are falling to bits, the Chargers are staying competitive but finding new and increasingly hilarious ways to shoot themselves in the foot, and the Broncos…are now starting Brock Osweiler. That’s after Trevor Siemian’s quite dreadful performance in Monday Night Football managing to blow any chance of the Broncos staying in this game. The Chiefs, while not perfect, did the rest and did enough to continue their march to a second consecutive AFC West title.

And that’ll do it for this week’s Review! Here’s how me and Kyle got on this week:

Stuart: 8-5
Kyle: 10-3

That means Kyle’s closed the gap on me to three games:

Stuart: 70-49
Kyle: 67-52

So yeah, that’ll do it for this week’s Review. Slightly rushed but it’s been an incredibly busy week this week. Should be back to normal once I finally get my laptop back from Injured Reserve next week. Can I get my Quarterback back from Injured Reserve soon too?

2018, huh?

…Go Colts.