Stuart's Week 11 NFL Picks

One day I will do a video again for the NFL.

But this is the busy time of the year for me with Uni work, etc.

Plus I've been dog-sitting yesterday, and only just got back, and NXT TakeOver is on, and I'm out all day tomorrow, then I'm going the pub to watch the Colts game because it's on Sky, and so on and so forth, so here you go.

Your week 11 picks, via the form of a Facebook post.

In fact, hell with it, let's get some traffic for the site. To the blogspot!

I know, I've been as reliable as Nathan Peterman for producing videos lately.

Ooft. I feel insulted.

To the picks?

To the picks.

Colts v. Titans: The Sky game this week at 6pm, this is forcing me to go to the pub to watch it. A truly terrible fate for myself. In the meantime, this should be a really tough game for us. Divisional match-up and it's gonna be huge both in the race for the South and the Wildcard race. Both teams are fun to watch and it should be a good one for the neutral. I'm going for hope here as if the offensive line does enough, I reckon the Colts hopefully.do enough to win. Luck is on fire, Ebron is catching loads of touchdowns and it's been ace. Hopefully the defence keeps up and Darius Leonard does Darius Leonard things. I'm not taking it for granted as this will be a tough out, but I reckon we can do enough. Colts.

Giants v Buccaneers: Oh good lord, start the tank up. It's Tank Bowl Extreme. The Giants have two wins this year despite having Saquon Barkley because Eli Manning is on the career downturn and his offensive line is a binfire. The Buccaneers' Quarterback options are Ryan Fitzpatrick and Jameis fuckin' Winston. Oh, good God almighty. Is Fitzpatrick going to start the rest of the season? Is Winston coming back in? Will it fucking matter? The Buccaneers are probably drafting a Quarterback in the upcoming off-season. The Ryan Fitzpatrick Cycle is...broken? Meanwhile, the Giants are probably also drafting a Quarterback soon, or trading for one, or picking one up in free agency as Eli goes out to pasture. This is a Tank Bowl and a half. The winner probably loses more. As for a winner...ehhh. Giants. They looked better last weekend against the Niners. Hopefully Eli sees the twilight of his career out in style.

Jaguars v. Steelers: It's Sacksonville Abbey versus Days of Our Steelers in the UrinatingTree Daytime Television Derby. The Jaguars defining moments of last season was the win over the Steelers. The Steelers seem to have their heads a bit more together this year. That's if you discount Le'Veon Bell deciding hanging out in Miami and creating rap albums and Antonio Brown trying to recreate Back to the Future on a Pittsburgh main street to have your heads a bit more together. I suppose that's better than getting pissed in London, skipping out on a bill, getting into a fight and getting arrested. The night before a game. Jalen Ramsey's sure been quiet this year, hasn't he? In the meantime, I'll take the Steelers here.

Lions v. Panthers: Matt Patricia might be on the verge of losing his job after one damn season. My God, Detroit, you don't help yourselves do you lads? I mean, he's not been great and has probably taken your franchise backwards, but surely you've gotta give him more time, right? I mean, it's not like your previous...coach...Jim Caldwell...took you to the playoffs and then mediocrity, right? Man, Jim Caldwell got the Colts to the Super Bowl. That was our last appearance to date. Kinell. The Panthers are looking to bounce back from the absolute shellacking they received last weekend, but they're still miles better than the Lions. Panthers.

Falcons v. Cowboys: Both of these teams still have an outside shot at the playoffs. Both of these teams should probably not have an outside shot at the playoffs. The Falcons are heading towards .500 after losing to Baker Mayfield and the Browns. That Curse of the Super Bowl hosts is going well again this year, huh? The Cowboys meanwhile got a bit more on track when they beat the Eagles in primetime, who keeps putting the Cowboys in primetime? At least we're spared that nightmare this week...meanwhile, the Falcons probably win because the Cowboys love absolutely shooting themselves in the foot, and Jason Garrett happy-claps his way to a defeat.

Ravens v. Bengals: THE LAMAR JACKSON ERA BEGINS*

*Unless he's still injured then we get RGIII and I might as well just pick the Bengals now if that's the case

Even if Jackson starts, Flacco is likely out and the Ravens are on a massive losing streak. The Bengals got utterly leathered by the Saints last weekend, but who aren't the Saints battering right now?

Wait, is AJ Green still out? 

Can I pick the tie?

I can't, huh?

Fine. Andy Dalton somehow leads the Bengals to a narrow win.

Washingtons v Texans: Nope, still not calling them that even in that shortened format. I will owe them a massive favour though if they win this weekend. I don't see it though because fuck me, right? The Texans are on more of a hot-streak and Washington seem insistent on sleepwalking their way to an NFC East title...and then get battered by a Wildcard team in January. The Texans meanwhile will probably win the AFC South title unfortunately...and then get battered by a Wildcard team in January.

In the meantime, the Texans win, and I curse Washington once again.

Cardinals v. Raiders: It's another TANK BOWL. Clownball all over the shop. An absolute bin fire of a team meets an absolute bin fire of a team. Hopefully we just get a hilariously entertaining game out of it. In the meantime, I have to pick a winner again. Do I? Do I really? Cardinals, I guess, as they continue to waste Larry Fitzgerald and David Johnson's careers. Meanwhile, Grudenball strikes again as their offensive line continues to get Derek Carr killed. What is it with Carrs and terrible offensive lines? Poor bastards.

Chargers v. Broncos: The best team in the NFL that nobody cares about, the Chargers continue their march on, the Broncos continue to lose faith in one-season wonder Case Keenum, and nobody ends up caring. Melvin Gordon gets me loads of fantasy points hopefully, and nobody continues to care about anything else. And the Chargers win. And nobody cares.

Saints v. Eagles: The Super Bowl Champions against the potential Super Bowl Champion elect. Drew Brees continues to challenge Patrick Mahomes for the MVP. If the Eagles can remember how they actually won the Super Bowl last year, that'd be good for them in this match-up. But right now, I really, really cannot vote against the Saints in any sort of matter. This team may very well win the Super Bowl. 

I apologise now for them bottling it in January. Saints.

Bears v. Vikings: This should be an incredible game that I will somehow try and balance with watching Survivor Series. Why did they have to pick this one for this weekend and not a terrible one like last week so I didn't have to worry about it? Mitch Trubisky is having himself a hell of a sophomore season, and Kirk Cousins has been...good but not great? He's been sitting on my fantasy bench for most of the season. Kinda glad I don't have to worry about the Quarterback Controversy. In the meantime, the Bears defence maybe gets me a few fantasy points? Please? However, Khalil Mack meets Kirk Cousins and the Bears are led to the top of the NFC North. And Seth Rollins loves football again. Bears.

Rams v. Chiefs: LIVE From Mexico, it's Monday Night Footba....oh, wait, let me try that again

LIVE From Los Angeles, it's Monday Night Football! This is being talked about as a potential Super Bowl match-up of 9-1 teams. This should be really fun to watch. Jared Goff against Patrick Mahomes, and two defences that are good but not amazing should lead to a fantastic shoot-out. Well, the Rams D is fantastic, the Chiefs D is good but trying to keep up with their offence. However, the Rams have been training for Mexico, and weirdly, that might end up being the difference. So that's why I'm taking the Chiefs, the potential AFC Champions elect. Unless they go Full Reid again. Don't go Full Reid again, Chiefs. We don't want to have to watch the Patriots in February.

Again.

Byes: Bills, Patriots, Jets, 49ers, Browns, Dolphins

I took the Packers to beat the Seahawks on Thursday. Once again, I'm 0-1 coming into the Sunday and Monday games. Fucking Thursday Night Football.

And that'll do it for this impromptu version of the Week 11 picks.

I quite enjoyed this. Might try this again next Saturday.

Well, there's three games on Thanksgiving. Maybe a video?

I dunno. See how Uni goes.

Go Colts.