NFL Divisional Finals Preview and Predictions: By Kyle Balfour

Week 3 Preview:
By Stuart Tomlin

Gonna start this week by once again congratulating my fantasy opponent, this time it was Marc Rafferty beating me by three points. Damn you Matt Stafford. Or me putting in Marlon Mack instead of Frank Gore, or Doug Baldwin for Michael Thomas. Regardless, well done on the win. Michael Haliburton, you’re next bud to put me down to 0-3.

Anyways, we’re at week 3 in the NFL, and so far, personally as a Colts fan, it’s been pretty brutal. As a fan of the NFL…last week was pretty brutal as well. Let’s hope for a better week.

Kyle and I are currently level on the Prediction Standings at 18-13.

Shall we begin?

1.30am Friday 22^nd September (Thursday 21^st in US)

San Francisco 49ers v. Los Angeles Rams
Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California

The Thursday Night Football Cavalcade of Fun (Patent Pending) rolls onto to San Francisco, well technically Santa Clara, for this NFC West matchup. And this time it’s the Niners against the Rams. Oh boy. Can we draft in Kevin Harlam to call this one just in case some idiot runs onto the field and has the best rushing play of the game again this year? Regardless, the Rams are defensively good, the 49ers are pretty bad all over. Expect low scoring and a potential bin fire of a game once again. But the Rams actually have value on one side of the ball at least, so Rams.

2.30pm Sunday 24^th September

Jacksonville Jaguars v. Baltimore Ravens
Wembley Stadium, London, England

It’s already Wembley Week. I think this is the earliest we’ve ever had a Wembley game in the season, correct me if I’m wrong? Anyways, Sacksonville takes on an actual real defence in the Baltimore Ravens. Flacco has been decent this year and the running game is solid. I quite like what the Jags were doing, especially defensively, but my God, don’t hype yourselves up after one game? I’m gonna take Baltimore here but I’m getting bad flashbacks to last year’s Wembley game involving the Jags. Was at that one. Yes, it was against us. Nope. Did not enjoy that one at all. Ravens.

6.00pm Sunday 24^th September

Buffalo Bills v. Denver Broncos
Ralph Wilson (New Era Field) Stadium, Buffalo, New York

Back on US soil for the six o’clock games, and we start with the Broncos’ trip to upstate New York to take on the Bills. The Broncos were impressive in their dismantling of the Cowboys last week, whereas the Bills…were not impressive at all in a Death By Field Goals game against the Panthers. The Broncos are scoring points. The Bills are not. You can probably see where I’m going with this. Broncos.

Chicago Bears v. Pittsburgh Steelers
Soldier Field, Chicago, Illinois

After a fairly impressive week 1 showing where they were within two dropped passes of beating the NFC Champions in the final seconds, the Bears regressed back into the Chicago Bears we all know and love. An absolutely terrible football team. Meanwhile in Pittsburgh, the Steelers continue their march to losing to the Patriots in the playoffs with an away trip to Chicago. And probably continue with a win here, to be honest, launching about sixty odd thousand more calls for Trubisky to start. Steelers.

Minnesota Vikings v. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
US Bank Stadium, Minneapolis, Minnesota

The Dark Horse Bowl, as I’m calling it, and not expecting that to catch on, sees the Vikings meet the Buccaneers in Minnesota. After the Buccaneers dismantled the Bears I am starting to think they might be a force to be reckoned with, before I realise that it was in fact Mike Glennon quarterbacking the Bears. But that being said, the Buccaneers look like they might have a team this year. Bradford was out for the Vikings last week and Case Keenum did Case Keenum things. The Vikings lost badly. I like Minnesota, at least when Bradford is fit (and even more when Bridgewater is but that’s another story), but will he back for this game? I love what the Buccs are doing right now. I’m taking them. Buccaneers.

Indianapolis Colts v. Cleveland Browns
Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, Indiana

I think a perfect example of what a disaster of a season this has been for my Colts is that for The Trent Richardson Bowl *shudders*, the Cleveland Browns are favourites on the road. THE BROWNS. Fucking hell. We’re without Andrew Luck again and we still have no idea when he’s gonna be back. I might take up drinking. In the meantime, Jacoby Brissett will be quarterbacking and we have about a million injuries. But the Browns don’t really have a quarterback or Myles Garrett fit for this game. I’ve picked the Colts twice. I’ve been wrong twice. Third time lucky. No pun intended. Colts.

New York Jets v. Miami Dolphins
MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey

Jets fans, get ready for the sight of Jay Cutler passing all over your defence, and then just not caring about it. You might be one of the few teams in a worse shape than we are. The Raiders passed all over the Jets last week, and while the Dolphins are not quite the Raiders, they still have an impressive array of wide receivers and it’s hard to see past a similar outcome. Dolphins.

Carolina Panthers v. New Orleans Saints
Bank of America Stadium, Charlotte, North Carolina

Forgot to put this one in. Can't believe I did that. Anyway, the Saints were an absolute tire fire against the Patriots in a typical Tom Brady revenge game, where as the Panthers were unimpressive in victory over the Bills. I think Brees will improve here and throw some scores, but I like the Panthers defence, where as I think Newton will have an easier day of it against an absolute bin fire of a Saints defence, and that will be the difference. Panthers.

New England Patriots v. Houston Texans
Gillette Stadium, Foxborough, Massachusetts

Ah, it’s that weird time of the year where I’m put in the position of having to actually root for the Patriots. Fun times. Tom Brady proved the annual “Is Tom Brady done” rumours wrong – again – in a destruction of the Saints’ defence last week, while the Texans played and won a game that was potentially the worst sixty minutes of NFL football in the history of NFL football. It’s the Pats, in Foxborough. This one’s pretty simple, really. Patriots.

Detroit Lions v. Atlanta Falcons
Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan

Here’s a game that could be really fun. The Lions take on the Falcons in Detroit, and both teams were impressive last week, with the Lions taking the Giants to bits on Monday Night, while the Falcons pretty much replicated the NFC Championship game against the Packers to open their new stadium the same way they close their old one. I’m genuinely quite torn on this one. The Lions have been very impressive this season…hmmm…I kinda want to pick them here. The Falcons were brilliant on Sunday…this is genuinely tough! Fuck it. Bold pick is bold. Lions.

Philadelphia Eagles v. New York Giants
Lincoln Financial Field, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Another week, another exciting NFC East tie. This time, the Eagles host the Giants at the Linc. The Eagles were close to pulling the impressive Chiefs back at the death last week, whereas the Giants fell to bits at home against the Lions. It’s hard to tell on form in divisional games, especially NFC East divisional games, but I like the Eagles a lot more right now than I do the Giants. Carson Wentz needs to be more good Carson Wentz than bad Carson Wentz though this week. Funnily enough, I always compare him to young Andrew Luck but he has a lot in common with his opposite number for this tie, Eli Manning, whereas a brilliant play can be ruled out by a crippling interception. Fire up the Eli Pick Klaxon. Maybe start the Wentz Pick Klaxon too. But I can see Wentz making fewer mistakes and having slightly more offensive line help, and that being the difference. Sorry Kyle! Eagles.

9.05pm Sunday 24^th September

Tennessee Titans v. Seattle Seahawks
LP Field, Nashville, Tennessee

It’s officially BOLD PICK OF THE WEEK TIME. The Titans host the Seahawks in Nashville, and while the Titans dominated Sacksonville last week, the Seahawks struggled to a win for themselves and my bet against the 49ers. Russell Wilson really needs to get this offence going, but he needs more help from his running game and offensive line as well. The Titans meanwhile look pretty stellar with Marcus Mariota under centre, and with Indy and the Texans struggling, they could be the ones to beat in the AFC South. Wow, I hate that sentence. None the less, this is a hard one to pick. Traditionally I’d say the Seahawks, but they have struggled offensively, and I think the Titans could actually pull off the win at home. Bold pick of the week is in. Titans.

9.25pm Sunday 24^th September

Los Angeles Chargers v. Kansas City Chiefs
StubHub Center, Carson, Los Angeles, California

Los Angeles’ least favourite sons welcome their divisional rivals the Chiefs for this game which will probably see half of the stadium filled with Chiefs fans. The Chargers carried their innate ability to spectacularly blow games from San Diego up the road to Carson with a last-minute field goal miss, while the Chiefs have blown out the Super Bowl Champions and squeaked out a win over the Eagles within the last two weeks. Just as we all expected. Kareem Hunt and Tyreek Hill are playing spectacularly right now and Alex Smith is playing potentially the best football he’s ever played. Phillip Rivers needs more help than he’s getting right now. It’s all too easy to pick the Chiefs here. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Chiefs.

Green Bay Packers v. Cincinnati Bengals
Lambeau Field, Green Bay, Wisconsin

The other half of the “Least Greatest Game Ever Played”, the Bengals, have yet to score a touchdown in two games this season. At home. They make the unenviable trip to Lambeau to face Aaron Rodgers and a pissed-off Packers, which is never a good situation to be in for any team. For a struggling Bengals team? This might be horrific. The Packers are much like the Patriots that they seem to be able to bounce back well from bad defeats to go and absolutely leather a team the following week, and after pretty much a repeat performance of the NFC Championship, they will not be in a good mood. I can see a similar situation unfolding here. Andy Dalton might struggle once more, and it might end up being AJ McCarron time for the Bengals. Home win. Packers.

1.30am Monday 25^th September (Sunday 24^th in US)

Washington Redskins v. Oakland Raiders
FedEx Field, Landover, Maryland

“Waiting all day for Sunday night” and all that. But the Washingtons welcome the Raiders for this week’s Sunday Night Football. Washington won a surprisingly entertaining game with the Rams in Los Angeles last week, where the Raiders absolutely battered the Jets. Washington seem a bit hit and miss so far, and it’s hard to tell at this point what kind of season they’re going to have – it’s hard to tell what kind of season most teams are going to have two weeks in, but that doesn’t stop us trying – whereas the Raiders look like they may contend for the AFC West once more. See, I’m already trying to predict a kind of season. The Washingtons have a couple of injury worries and the Raiders seem to be hitting form. I’m taking Oakland. Raiders.

1.30am Tuesday 26^th September (Monday 25^th in US)

Arizona Cardinals v. Dallas Cowboys
University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona

The final game of the week sees the David Johnson less Arizona Cardinals face the not Ezekiel Elliott less Dallas Cowboys. The Cardinals struggled to a win over us last weekend and having sat through that game, they were very lucky to get out of Indy with the win in overtime. Still sickened by that. Dallas meanwhile were destroyed in Denver, and need to regroup here. Elliott and Prescott will need to get back to their previous form as they both struggled last week, but it should be enough to beat a struggling Cardinals side. Cowboys.

And that’s your picks for this week. Here’s hoping for a better week, and the first Colts win of the season. Please. Please, please, please.

Go Colts!