2019 Offseason Review: Part One by Stuart Tomlin

With the NFL Draft and the beginnings of Free Agency in the books, we thought it was time to look at the state of the NFL as it stands in May 2019, four months ahead of the season. Initially, I thought it’d be a good idea to run a full article with all thirty-two teams, but I underestimated how large that article would be. Therefore, it was decided that it would be a series of four, posted on consecutive days, in alphabetical order. Today, we look at A through C in the NFL, starting with the first overall pick…

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At time of writing, it’s May 8th 2019, 10am in the morning. Well, this time might change as I edit this, but as I start this piece, it’s that time as listed above. My exams are done, we’re four months away from the season, and it’s been a while since I wrote anything for the page, so, here we go.

I thought I’d take a wee look at all 32 teams and see how the offseason’s going, via alphabetical order. I thought about different ways of organising this, draft order, division by division, etc. But, figured alphabetical is the way to go. These are the very important decisions I have to shoulder in terms of this page, so I hope my hard work pays off here. I think I put more thought into this than the Raiders did into their Draft, so that’s something.

It’s been an interesting offseason so far - the Bell and Brown drama in Pittsburgh seeing them both depart for New York* and Oakland** respectively, the Cardinals’ secrecy of who they were gonna pick (Kyler Murray) and what they were going to do with the Quarterback they already had in Josh Rosen (ship him to Miami, as it turned out), and, most importantly, the Bears having a kicking competition for their new starting kicker position, from the exact position that Cody Parkey missed against the Eagles in the playoffs. Sensational patter from this league once more.

*East Rutherford
**Las Vegas as of 2020

I swear, aside from Scottish football, it’s the best banter league in world sports. (Well, Russian football potentially as well.)

Anyways, the initial period of Free Agency has come and gone. The NFL Draft has come and gone. And I thought rather than trying to catch up on both separately, thought I’d combine them into this article.

Well, like a Browns fan trying to chat up another Browns fan at the Draft who turned out to be married, here goes nothing.

A team by team look at how your offseason’s going so far.

ARIZONA CARDINALS

Hey, I did manage to start with the first overall pick! That’s...that’s something.

Arizona’s offseason has mainly revolved around two things: Kliff Kingsbury coming in as Head Coach, and what they were going to do with the first overall pick, and by extension, what they were going to do with Josh Rosen. Yes, I know that’s three things. But two of them are connected, so technically, it’s two things. Just...just...ok?

Anyways, Kingsbury comes into the league despite a losing record in Texas Tech, replacing one year Head Coach Steve Wilks. We’ve talked about Wilks before at length, didn’t think he was up to the job, but giving up on a one-year head coach is a strange move.

Well Arizona, you’ve doubled down on that, you’ve also given up on a one-year Quarterback. Incredibly harsh on Rosen, considering his offensive line was an absolute trainwreck last year. Have fun with that, Kyler Murray. The former Oakland Athletics’ first round pick becomes the Arizona Cardinals’ first overall pick. It’ll be interesting to see how he adjusts to the league as a smaller quarterback - will he be more Russell Wilson or Johnny Manziel? And can the Cardinals actually get that O-Line together to protect him?

Larry Fitzgerald is back for another season. The absolute legend, the absolute masochist.

ATLANTA FALCONS

Well, Atlanta for me won the Schedule Release Videos competition, so that’s something? I mean, the Game of Thrones one wasn’t entirely original as the Washington D.Cs and the Texans also did it, but the Falcons used their version to absolutely shithouse the daylights out of the Saints, so I have a lot of time for that.

Aside from that, the Falcons have been kinda quiet in the offseason. Calvin Ridley could step up to become the WR2 for the Falcons, and I hope so as I’ve taken him for the Colts in the NFL Adults Only League. Beyond that, they took two tackles in the first round, trading up with the Rams to get their second tackle, and while tackle isn’t a sexy pick, it’s a damn necessary one. The Falcons could have a very potent offence this year, especially if Matt Ryan can find his 2016 form again. Devonta Freeman is back off injury, as is half the defence, and that could be the biggest aspect of a Falcons bounceback next season.

BALTIMORE RAVENS

The Elite is Dead, Long Live the Elite?

Joe Flacco has been traded away to Denver, and this is very much Lamar Jackson’s team now. So out go the checkdowns to Tight Ends, and in come the rushing dynamic from the QB.

Have to say, liked the Mark Ingram signing. He’s a superb pickup for a team that badly needed a running back, and moves out of a timeshare with Alvin Kamara in New Orleans to potentially becoming the man in Baltimore. Well, the best running back they have after Lamar Jackson, of course.

Also very much liked the Earl Thomas signing. I honestly thought he’d end up in Dallas. I think a lot of people did. Hey ho. A good fit for Baltimore however, and for a team that haven’t had that level of Safety since Ed Reed retired. He is just turning 30 and off a major injury, mind you. And most of the rest of that talented defence from last year is gone.

BUFFALO BILLS

Ed Oliver at 9 is an absolute steal for a team in the middle of a rebuild. They got Cole Beasley off Dallas, giving Josh Allen - no, not the Jaguars new defensive end, man that’s gonna get confusing when the Jags play the Bills. Josh Allen sacking Josh Allen. That’s...they don’t play this year, do they? Ach well, there goes that narrative. There’s always a chance of a 2017 rematch in the playoff...stop, stop laughing in the back, please?

So yeah, Cole Beasley. Had some superb pettiness at his old team, which makes me want to see him succeed in Buffalo. That’s gonna make an interesting storyline on Thanksgiving. And yes, I checked this one - the Bills travel to the Cowboys on Thanksgiving this year. They gave the Bills a Thanksgiving game. Yeesh.

Also, the Bills signed Frank Gore, and fair play. I liked him when he played for us. Hope he does well.

CAROLINA PANTHERS

Hey, Carolina, is Cam Newton’s shoulder gonna be good to go? Asking for a neutral who’s going to see you play against the Buccs this year. This is without a doubt the biggest question mark on Carolina this year. It is an odd year so the Panthers are currently scheduled to be good, but if Newton misses significant time or isn’t the same Quarterback, they’re in trouble. Take it from someone who suffered the 2017 Colts season without Andrew Luck. You need Newton at full strength. Don’t rush him.

They did sign Chris Hogan in free agency. Did you know Chris Hogan played Lacrosse? That seems to be something that has to be mentioned every time Chris Hogan is talked about. Kinda like Ryan Fitzpatrick going to Harvard, London-born Jay Ajayi being born in London, or Denver’s Phillip Lindsay being undrafted and being from Denver. With Funchess gone, the Panthers very much needed WR help, and Hogan, surplus to requirements in New England, may just fit that bill.

I really liked the Brian Burns pick. He was on my board. Another one I drafted in the Adults Only League, and therefore another one I hope massively succeeds this season. Him and Kuechly together could be a very, very good defence.

CHICAGO BEARS

The Double Doink Master Cody Parkey is gone, unsurprisingly. Cut after THAT miss against the Eagles, and the aforementioned kicking contest from the spot he missed from aside, you signed a kicker called Chris Blewitt. BLEWITT. The memes just write themselves.

A few losses in the secondary aside, it’s also been a quiet offseason in Chicago. You didn’t have a pick in the first after the trade for Khalil Mack last year, but hell, you have Khalil Mack, so that’s worth a late first rounder. Hell, that’s worth an early first rounder.

What the hell did you actually do this offseason? Ah yes, trading away Jordan Howard. Not so sure on this move, to be honest. Ryan Montgomery has been drafted in the third round to replace him. They also drafted Riley Ridley, younger brother of the Falcons’ Calvin. He looks like a player.

I don’t really have any questions about the Bears, but I have to fill column space. I drafted a couple of them - Eddie Jackson and Roquan Smith - in the Adults Only League.

Oh, and Bears fan Seth Rollins stomped on Brock Lesnar’s head three times and won the Universal Championship at WrestleMania.

That was pretty damn magnificent.

CINCINNATI BENGALS

Well, after sixteen years of not winning a playoff game and getting beyond the Wildcard Round at any point, Marvin Lewis is mercifully gone. As is Hue Jackson. Why, why did you hire Hue Jackson again? Just...why?

He managed to get himself fired twice in one season, and led the Browns to an 0-16 season two years ago. Probably the worst coach in NFL history. Gotta be up there.

In the meantime, you now have Zac Taylor as your new head coach, because he had coffee with Sean McVay that one time. Yay?

Vontaze Burflict has also mercifully gone. Three years too late. Should’ve cut him right after he cost you your first playoff win in 16 years against the Steelers.

You re-signed one of the worst o-liners in football in Bobby Hart. You also drafted an o-liner in Jonah Williams. And did...nothing else of note, really.

You’re really gunning for that number one pick in 2020, huh?

CLEVELAND BROWNS

Congratulations to the Cleveland Browns on winning the Super Bowl.

On a serious note, it has been an incredibly exciting offseason for the Browns. Two years off 0-16, the Browns look like a dynamic exciting football team. Amazing what gutting your front office can do isn’t it?

The big storyline of course was the trade for Odell Beckham Jr, one of the most elite Wide Receivers in the league. He has had issues staying healthy, but when he’s healthy, he’s one of the best in the game. Can’t argue with this trade.

Kareem Hunt is also here, although will miss the first half of the season due to his suspension for being a stupid fucking bastard. Can’t condone what he did. Oliver Vernon and Sheldon RIchardson have also been signed in incredibly exciting moves.

They also seem to have their QB in Baker Mayfield. It only took you about twenty two odd notches on the infamous jersey. If he takes his step forward, he could be the QB the Browns have waited for.

It seems odd to say that the Draft wasn’t as big a focus for the Browns this year, but here we are. With no first rounder, they did get Greedy Williams at pick 46, which could turn out to be a bit of a steal.

This is very much a boom or bust era for the Browns. It could launch them into the elite teams, or it could go the way of the 2011 Eagles Dream Team. It might also be a short window - they’re gonna have to pay all these guys eventually. We’ll have to see how Dorsey manages the cap in the next couple of years. Nonetheless, it is going to be absolutely fascinating to watch.

Next time out, we have a look at D through K in the alphabet, beginning with the Dallas Cowboys and ending with the Kansas City Chiefs.

Join us then.

Until then,

Go Colts!